Tag Archives: self-image

Setbacks and Moving Forward

I’ve been building a home obstacle course the past few weeks which I have been calling my “mini-Ninja” course, inspired by the show American Ninja Warrior.  When it’s done it will look like a grown up version of a kid’s jungle gym.  The problem I have been facing is that the darn thing is so heavy it’s difficult to assemble on my own.

That came home to roost last Sunday when the structure collapsed while I was trying to raise the taller of the two end pieces.  I managed to dodge most of it, but I torqued my left forearm a little trying to stabilize it before I saw the futility of that effort.  I admit, looking at that pile of timbers an pipes I felt more than a little discouraged.   I may even have sung a few choruses of “the old four letter serenade”.

There thing is, it’s not a bad idea-it may even be pretty good!  It’s the execution that has been problematic.  So I have come up with a new idea for stabilizing the two end pieces in two directions at once to help keep them standing.   Instead of trying to man-handle 12 foot long 4 x 4 timbers into place in brackets to connect the two ends, I’m going to use two 12 foot long 2 x 4 timbers which will be much easier to maneuver and will accomplish what I need just as well.

The upshot of this is that when you suffer a setback, it’s OK to get angry and annoyed.  Go ahead and vent-I sure did!  But get it out of your system and get back to what you were doing.  If you need to, rethink the process and come at the problem from a different angle.  Just don’t give up.

Here is my revised plan-bracing in two directions!

Here is my revised plan-bracing in two directions!

I Refuse To Act My Age

I’m 57 years old and 60 is fast approaching.  I was recently told that I don’t act my age when I showed someone a home obstacle course/jungle gym I’m building.  This was meant as a good hearted rebuke, but I take it as an affirmation.  I freely admit I don’t act may age because I’m not convinced that age is a limitation.

There are plenty of people in their 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond who don’t “act their age”.  Daniela Barnea, 73, recently won three gold medals in swimming.   Jacinto Bonilla at 77 competes in CrossFit and even had a WOD named after him.  Paul Tetrick, 85, has won more than 12 USA Cycling Time Trial Championships.  A quick online search will turn up so many “seasoned” athletes it will make your head spin!

Growing older is inevitable barring illness or injury.  To my knowledge there is no law that says we have to grow old in our spirits, though.  Certainly there is nothing that mandates allowing our bodies to fall apart from disuse or misuse.  I honestly do not see myself growing old with anything approaching complacency.  As Dylan Thomas wrote “Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” I plan to go down kicking and screaming until I draw my final breath!

It’s almost finished!

Alone But Not Lonely

I have been thinking a lot about being single at 57 years of age, lately.  Without going into unnecessary detail, I was briefly married a long time ago to an unpleasant woman.  I have never felt compelled to take a chance on repeating that mistake.  That is why I find myself single well after the half-century mark.

Here’s the thing:  I am not bothered by being alone.  I have always been comfortable with my own company.  I believe that this has fostered in me a certain self-sufficiency.  I answer to no schedule but that which I choose, and I find a lot of satisfaction in that.   I would probably make a really good hermit, as long as my cave had WiFi.

Frankly at my age, it’s hard to imagine having someone around all the time.  I have work, church, and friends, so I’m not planning on changing any time soon.   I am, as Mary Chapin Carpenter sang, alone but not lonely.

Solitude need not be isolation.

What Motivates You?

I strenuously exercise on a regular basis because I want to be healthy.  I eat vegan because I don’t want animals to suffer on my behalf.  I decrappify  because I want less stuff cluttering up my house and attention.  I do 90 percent of the repairs on my house to save money and frankly, because I can.  So there you have it, the motivations for four of the big ticket items in my life.

Here’s the thing:  motivation is all at once personal and situation-specific.  At the end of the day, each of us must identify that which we value and how much we value it.  For example, if you want to lose weight but aren’t willing to move a bit more and eat a bit less, you like the idea of losing weight but you aren’t motivated enough to do the necessary work.  I lost count of the number of times someone has told me they’d love to drop a few pounds, but when I suggest easy ways to start, they balk.

They are not motivated so much as they are wishful.  Well guess what, there ain’t no genie in a magic lamp here.

It isn’t just weight loss, either.  Anything that can or should matter to you (and I leave it to you to make that distinction) is subject to motivation.  And, that which is subject to motivation is also subject to its loss.  So how do you find and maintain motivation?  Here is what works for me: keep the reason I started something in mind (I keep my “before” photo on my fridge to remind myself why I exercise), I participate in online accountability groups for support and feedback, I view challenges (like home repairs) as opportunities not limitations, and I don’t let setbacks define my level of success (speed bumps are not the end of the road).

So, what motivates you?

A bear chasing a cyclis-that's motivation!

       Motivation isn’t always this obvious-luckily!

Control Your Christmas Chaos

This is a tough time of the year to pursue a simpler lifestyle.  We are inundated at every turn with commercialism and its subtle guilt tripping (if we don’t buy Grammie the most expensive widget we don’t love her).  Whether you celebrate Christmas as I do, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or something else, don’t fall into this trap.  Simplify instead with these “don’t” tips.

Don’t over-extend your commitments.  Instead spend some time considering what you are reasonably capable of doing, establish some self-imposed limits, and honor them.

Don’t give in to overeating.  Instead practice portion control, treat yourself to a few goodies instead of a whole platter, and don’t forget to exercise, even if it’s just going for a daily walk.

Don’t put on a brave face for others.  If you have a hard time finding joy during the holidays, embrace what you are feeling but don’t dwell on your hard emotions to the point where they disable you.  Instead seek out like-minded people at Blue Christmas services or support groups.

Don’t overspend. Create a list and a budget and stay within it.  Those who love you will appreciate being remembered by you, regardless of how much you spend on them.

And finally, don’t forget to be good to yourself in all things and at all times.